‘A blessed time’

By Karma B. Cassidy

St. Agnes’ House was established in 1975 by a group of individuals representing the Episcopal Diocese of Lexington, the Episcopal seminary, and The Sisters of St. Margaret to provide hospitality for persons traveling to Lexington for cancer treatment.  They saw a need for housing people taking their treatments far from home, and they responded with a new ministry.

What evolved was outreach that went beyond just a place to stay.  It is also a healing community that creates a sense of holiness, and a home-like environment that provides spiritual comfort and familiarity for our guests. Through sharing meals and stories, guests form friendships that sustain them through the most difficult times of treatment.

The value of a caring community is best appreciated through the eyes of one who has been a part of the community.  The following is a narration of an interview I conducted with Alyssa Dodd from Idaho Falls, Idaho, who was our guest from Aug. 8 to Oct. 27, 2004.

Alyssa’s story

By the time Alyssa came for radiation treatment this past August she had already undergone 11 surgeries either at home in Idaho Falls, Idaho, or here in Lexington.  Four of the surgeries were to repair side effects of therapy, including vocal cord and tear duct damage.  She’d begun her treatment at home in Idaho but when the dose of radioactive iodine she received failed she came to Lexington where she received another “failed” dose of radioactive iodine.

Her first five visits to Lexington for either evaluation testing or treatment were marked by disappointment for Alyssa.  Not only was the radioiodine treatment unsuccessful but also she was, as she describes herself, “dreary and alone.”   Because she could afford to she stayed at either The University Inn or Extended Stay America.  She came to prefer the family-like atmosphere at SAH over the nicer accommodations. She explains the difference in this way, “Being around others with even more serious illnesses and even death has made me appreciate how many good things I have in life.  I saw that life could be simplified, not so cluttered with meaningless activities.  Love for others is critical for healing.”

There are perhaps as many possible ways a person can choose to cope with a diagnosis of cancer as there are possible forms a tumor can take in the body.  Alyssa’s ways were always courageous.  Her first reaction to the diagnosis was, “This is no big deal.  I can handle this myself.  I don’t need anybody’s help with this.”  She began much as she has always approached problems in life:  by collecting information and by taking charge.  She became familiar with the thyroid cancer support group, ThyCa, and through the listserv on-line discussion group began dialogue with others in treatment and with thyroid cancer survivors.  She attended the ThyCa’s annual conferences, where she met the Dr. Ain whose clinic she came to here in Lexington.

Then in March of 2003, she made another courageous decision.  After four major neck surgeries and four surgeries for side effects of therapy, two rounds of unsuccessful radioactive iodine and four trips to Kentucky, she decided she had had enough.  She describes her life for the two and a half years since diagnosis as “medicalized.”   It wasn’t just the treatments and surgeries.  It was also the loss of career and control over her life that did her in.  For the first time in 25 years she wasn’t able to do what she was good at.  Alyssa had a successful career as a computer programmer and a full, overachieving life as a wife, mother, and volunteer.  Much of that was lost in her battle against cancer.  Her doctor had recommended continuing on the path of “aggressive monitoring.”  She felt she couldn’t go on, so she refused further monitoring or treatment for cancer.

She describes those nine months as a “blessed time and a needed reprieve.” She felt as if she had “gotten her life back.”  In retrospect she realizes that God gave her a total release from the burden of cancer to prepare her for the next step, which brought her to Lexington in July 2004.

External beam radiation can be brutal.  I recall one morning when I encountered Alyssa sitting at the kitchen table staring at pills and water she couldn’t swallow after she had had a full night of nausea.  I was afraid she wasn’t going to make it.  Once again however, Alyssa’s spunk kicked in.  She contacted ThyCa friends, Susan, Mary, and Laura, who came to her rescue. They became her hospital advocate, seeing that she got the IV fluids she needed and in Alyssa’s words, “they were there when I needed them.”

I learned from Alyssa that the greatest asset of our cancer hostelry isn’t the low price.  The people make the difference.  The people who saved her life are too numerous to list. But when asked what it was about SAH that helped her through her ordeal, Alyssa lists volunteers Lori Mellon and Jean Owens, who helped her with their friendship, hospitality, spiritual uplift, encouragement and love.  And she lists the conveniences of being near the medical center to be able to walk if feeling up to it, having a nice kitchen, bathroom facilities, TV for distraction, and a computer for e-mail.

Alyssa’s priorities have undergone a major shift since her diagnosis of cancer.  Things are much simpler now.  She doesn’t seem to need the control which was so important before. God is in control.  She stops to think about breathing and does it as if it was a gift.  She treasures her children as gifts rather than responsibilities, relationships more than possessions. After 25 years as a successful career woman, she is ok with just being. Love is pretty important and experiences are about how she comes closer to God.